What is it that I am afraid of? Judgement. Judgement from my peers. This fear of being judge holds me back letting people know me because I do not think they will be impressed with what they find. Instead I hid and covered myself to look presentable and as someone others would like.
Why do I have this fear though? Or is it a need to be accepted? The judgement of others undoubtedly carries no bearing on my life from a logical perspective. We have all heard "judge not, that you be not judged." 1 But each of us judges each other from the moment we meet. The question is, is there anyone capable of judging another? Under the assumption of the subjective value theory no single man is able to justly determine if the actions of another are right or wrong. To do so would require the man who seeks to judge have a perfect understanding of the values of the judged. And how can you objectively set aside your values when trying determine anothers? Even if it were possible to understand the mind and values of someone else, judgement could still not be fairly passed. The judge would simply find himself understanding why the judged acted as he did. There is still no objective basis on which to judge. Appeal to some greater good, social justice, God, or some other supernatural power. This is the only way, and the man being judge may not value the god you appeal to. Even so one human can't judge another based on some moral code from outside human control or understanding. The only person able to would be Jesus, but even he did not come to the earth to judge it. Any man who judges another is prone to misjudge simply because he is human.
Yet even though people's judgements of me are wrong I still value what they think. Every man judges and values every other man even though the judgement that is passed is likely wrong. We judge each other because we must choose how we will spend our time. We must somehow give value to all our opportunities, and this is done through passing judgement. A person must live his or her own life and should do it with those who give him the most return or satisfaction.
So it has been established that it is impossible for man to judge correctly. Yet he still judges and in doing so applies value to every other person. And this is why I value the judgements of others even though the judgement is wrong. I value what they think of me, not weather the judgement is correct or not. Over time I find the value I place on how others judge me is dwindling. I used to make decisions based on someone else's values. I am finding that it is not worth it. Worrying about others only drains energy and does not return it. It is also impossible for everyone to be happy with you. Compromise and valuing others opinion may be necessary sometimes, but I had constantly forgotten the value of my own judgements when making my choices!
- Matthew 7:1